Changes

Life is moving forward here in Estes Park.  Notice I said Estes Park.  On the first of September, I  moved into a rented condo here, sold preschool and for the time being I am pretending to be retired.  In the last week or two, I have actually had time to catch my breath.  Sounds good, but it also means I have time to think and that can often lead to boo hoos as the girls and I call it.  After which I blow my nose, wipe my eyes and continue on.  I keep reminding myself that I have too many things to be thankful for and feeling sorry for myself is not a good response to grace.

After thirty years of living in the woods a.k.a. Highlands Camp, I am learning how to live with people in a close neighborhood. That includes developing a thick skin when the rule keeper in the neighborhood complains weekly that my visitors are parking in the wrong area.  The grocery store, bank and library are only a few miles away and I can even ride my bike if I feel like it.  I actually have the time to explore EP, when before I just wanted to get back up the mountain as quick as I could.

All in all, I am doing okay.  I  look forward to going to Honduras the first of the year and I'm thinking about a trip to California to see my Dad in the near future.  The girls and I (with the support of the boys) keep each other grounded and Skyping with the Honduras family keeps a smile on my face (how can you be sad when you hear a little boy yelling, "Nana!" at you through the computer?  They have been terrific through all this and I couldn't do it without them.

Thunder Lake 9/29/12

Once a year is not enough

It has been several weeks since they got on the plane and flew back to Honduras.  It was time. Dave was home from the hospital and on the road to recovery, they needed to get on with their lives and so did we.  But did they have to take that little guy with them?  Long distance grand parenting is hard.  It is not like I have an extra $1000 to hop on a plane every time I need a grand baby fix. That could get expensive.  I don't know what I would do without Skype, but even that isn't perfect and toddlers don't always want to cooperate.  Imagine that.

It was a blessing that Dave was able to be home for a week with them (immune system intact) and not have to worry about germs, etc. before they had to leave.  Nothing like the motivation of a little one running around to make you forget about yourself for awhile.

For now, I guess we have to be satisfied with scanning through our pictures, recalling memories and making plans for the next visit.

The things we did to get that boy to take a nap!

Guillermo David & Nana

Tia Becca & GD

First Snow!

Home from the hospital.

 



Daredevil boy and relaxing

God is good. Always.

As some of you know, we have had some very dark days in the last couple of months.  Dave's cancer came back (they said it would) and he started chemo again in December.  His second treatment at the beginning of the year, knocked him to the ground, literally.  He has been fighting to regain his ability to fight infection (12 days in the hospital in January) and feel like a halfway normal person again.  Many, many days he fought fevers and nausea, with only enough energy to change positions from the bed to the couch to the chair.  He hasn't been this skinny since high school.

The good news is that things are improving.  He goes to Longmont every day to get a shot to boost his immune system and slowly, very slowly, his white counts are coming up and they are taking him off of some of the many drugs he has been on.  He is feeling more like his old self, although with a lot less strength and stamina.  He has a long way to go and we don't know how long that will take, but we are encouraged for movement in a positive direction.

Through all this, we have carried each other over the rough spots with encouragement, humor and a deeper understanding of what it means to be committed for a life time.  Being the caregiver can be hard, not the physical effort as much as the emotional toll it takes when you can't do enough for the one you love.  God in his infinite wisdom, put a book in my path that has made all the difference.  It is called, "One Thousand Gifts", by Ann Voskamp.  I highly recommend it.  I am on my second reading and I come away with a new truth every time I open it.  "One Thousand Gifts" is a celebration of grace and a recognition of the power of gratitude.

This experience has also shown me that I can go through anything as long as I count it all as grace.  There is joy right where I am at, even in the dark times.  God is good. Always.

Empty Nest Thoughts

Well, it has happened again, our nest is empty and we have gone from having a full house to having three spare bedrooms (and they are clean!).

Our youngest two have somewhat reluctantly moved to Estes Park to a nice condo overlooking the lake and the surrounding mountains.  I say reluctantly, but really they are excited to be on their own again.  It was just hard to come to that decision. When they moved back to save money and work for Mom and continue their education, they were not very happy, but then home cooked meals appeared every night, internet was free and no one asked for rent the first of every month and it grew on them.  They had also developed into adults who were easier to get along with and enjoyable to be around.  But all good things must come to an end and now they are cash poor and independently happy.  If that makes sense.

And what of the two parents left behind and home alone?  We are just fine and taking the opportunity to reinvent ourselves a little. I don't know why having your children (even adult children) around changes the dynamics of your relationship, but it does. Anyway, I'm using this particular post to toast our new stage of life.  Cheers!

The new place (up the stairs)

 

On Being a Grandparent

What I Learned About Being a Nana

• It can be exhausting and you wonder how you ever had four children at the same time.
• You get to walk in the house at the end of the day and be greeted with big smiles from people who are genuinely glad to see you (both daughter and grandson)
• You want to buy everything that money can buy to make your grandson's life easier, but you better pace yourself because he might not be the only grandchild (and the Visa bill will come after he's gone and his smiling face won't be around to make it better)
• That as much fun as it is having a little one around, you are kinda set in your ways and like your house to be somewhat neat and tidy.
• You are NOT ready to be a full time Mom again to grandchildren and you are very happy that your children can handle parenthood on their own.
• That you now have someone else to worry and pray about, but you also have someone else to love and be loved by.
• That it is truly a gift and blessing to have the opportunity to be a parent and a grandparent.

Compassion Visit

Visiting Eduin's home

Well,  better late than never.  It seems my mind has been very scattered lately (lately?) and I kept meaning to post pics and a description of my visit to the Compassion project in Ulloa, outside of Tegucigalpa, Honduras and then I would forget.  So...I guess it is now or never.

 As most of you know, when I went down to Honduras to visit our first grandson in late January I had plans to hook up and visit with the two Compassion children we sponsor there.  I had already met Eduin on the last trip and was excited to meet Evelyn our recently sponsored new girl.

Within days of arriving I contacted the Compassion office in Tegucigalpa to firm up our plans.  We had already decided that it would be best to leave Anna, baby Guillermo and my Mom at home because the day had the possibility of being long and hot.  As we were heading out that morning, Guillermo received a call from the office telling us that Evelyn had to leave town suddenly to go to her grandmother's funeral and we would not be able to see her.  How disappointing.

After regrouping, Guillermo and I drove to the outskirts of the city until we hit a bumpy dirt road leading to the suburb of Ulloa, where we turned down a side street and bumped along until we pulled up in front of a nondescript  store front.  It wasn't long before people started coming out of the wood work, including a large assortment of curious children, one of which was Eduin.  After getting a shy hug from him and greeting the others, we walked around the neighborhood, checking in at the project, visited Evelyn's mother and eventually ending up at Eduin's house.  We got reacquainted with his family and met his little sister who had been born since we were last there.

We spent the rest of the day opening presents, playing frisbee, cramming three kids and four adults in a small pickup and going to the mall to eat lunch and hang out.  Below are some pictures from our day.

Eduin & the Project Leader

Part of the classroom

Evelyn's Mother & Family

Eduin's Family

Playing Frisbee

Smiling Eduin

Helping sister slide

Nana Time

We had a great visit to Honduras.  I can't begin to tell you how special it was to hold that sweet little bundle of joy and to see our first born and her husband as parents.  I have joined the ranks of grandparents who think they have the most wonderful grandchildren who ever set foot on this planet. I mean it when I say it was a privilege to do things like change diapers, walk the floor with a fussy baby (until my back ached), wash dishes in cold water and get up several times in the night to keep Anna company while she nursed Guillermo David.

Memories of young motherhood long ago came flooding back, but also the perspective that comes with age.  You can't wait until they start sleeping through the night or get out of diapers, but in the blink of an eye they are graduating from high school and striking out on their own.  My advice is to enjoy every minute, every season that life has to offer. 

Guillermo David Jimenez Strom

Adoring Parents

Our sweet nieto (grandson)

The parents, the grandparents & the great grandparents

Food, Dishes, etc.

Here I am in the kitchen, making the big meal of the day. We are having crepes (I know, not very Honduran).  The evening meal may just be something like scrambles eggs and beans on a tortilla, nachos or leftovers. 

This is the dish washing soap.  You dip the wet sponge in the hard cake and scrub your dishes, then rinse with water (cold in this case).  There is only hot water available in the shower.  It does take a little getting used to doing dishes in cold water, but everything gets sparkling clean and no one gets sick, so apparently it is fine.

 

Instead of jars or cans, a lot of grocery items come packed like this in a foil pouch.  They eat red beans here and they are very tasty, especially when they are cooked with the Honduran cheese below and eaten with tortilla chips.

It is kind of like mozzarella, but saltier.

Milk comes like this on the shelf.  It makes it handy to stock up, since you don't have to refrigerate it and the taste doesn't seem much different than what we use in the states.

 

We made it!

We got in around 12:30pm Honduras time on Sunday.  After we got through customs without any incidence, Guillermo was waiting on the other side ready to take us up the hill to 9km Hatillo. Anna and Guillermo David were waiting for us in the bedroom.  It was a joy to hold him and smell his sweet baby smell.  Also there to greet us were Guillermo's parents and sister, full of hugs, kisses and "mucho gustos".  So welcoming!

Luckily, we saw this video last time we came so we knew what to expect.  Toncontin is the 2nd most dangerous airport in the world.

Baby G

  Snapshot from Skype

We got the call before six, on Friday morning letting us know that they were off to the hospital to have a baby.  The funny thing is that when Dave woke up around four, he asked me what the date was today and I told him the 14th.  I asked why he needed to know that and he said, "Because if I have a grandson born today, I need to know what the date is, so I can remember it". Premonition?

The "Aunts to Be" and I went to work and waited impatiently for the phone to ring.  It did, but it was never Tegucigalpa.  Around 10 we got a text that said she was 6 or 7 cm dilated and everything was fine.  Finally when I was in the grocery store parking lot getting ready to go in and shop around 1:30, Anna called and said, "He came about an hour ago and everything went well". Since there was no internet at the hospital, there would be no pictures for awhile.  I confess it took me several tries to get into the store.  First I forgot my keys, then I forgot my list - I was in la la land.

That afternoon when I got home I couldn't stand it any longer and I got online and bought a calling card for Honduras and called Guillermo's cell phone.  Normally we use Skype, but that doesn't work when you don't have internet access. He answered and we talked for a minute when all of a sudden in the background, I hear a loud and long cry.  That's all it took, I broke down and blubbered.  I guess I didn't expect to hear him since I couldn't see him.  Talk about turning Nana into mush. 

Welcome

Guillermo David Jimenez

Born

January 14, 2011

at

1:50pm

52cm

(20 1/2in.)

7lbs 2oz.

Compassion Visit

 

           Eduin                                                                Evelyn

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time on the computer getting my visit to the Compassion project in Honduras lined up where we sponsor two children.  It means lots of emails going back and forth from Allenspark to Colorado Springs to Tegucigalpa and back again.  They have also changed the requirements from the last time we went, so everyone that comes on the visit will need background checks.  I have been gathering Driver's License information, Social Security numbers, etc. so they can check us out.  This will be my second visit. We went three years ago when the whole family went  to Honduras for the wedding.  That time we only had one little boy to visit.  His name is Eduin and we met his Mom and little brother, visited their home and took them to the mall for pizza.  This time we will see the new girl we sponsor in that same project, whose name is Evelyn, as well as Eduin.  

I am so excited to see them.  Every time I write Eduin he always asks if I have been back to Honduras.  I assure him that I wouldn't go all that way and not see him.  We purposely chose children in that country because we knew we would be visiting there regularly and could be an actual presence in their lives. 

I used to think it was better to send money instead of going on expensive mission trips, but then we spent a few hours at the Compassion project last trip and saw all the children eating lunch, met the teachers and learned we were only the second sponsors to ever visit in that community and it gave me another perspective.  All those children had sponsors who wrote to them and they wrote to regularly, but to actually see that real people were connected to those letters seemed to make a big impression. 

Encouragement and caring in any form is a great gift, but to do so personally can make an even bigger impact.  I found the same to be true when we went to Liberia, although you do have to weigh the impact of what you do vs. the money spent in each individual case as your money can do a lot of good in a third world country.  Having said that, I have come to a couple conclusions.  One, it's only money and two, sometimes you don't get to see the impact you have made, but that doesn't mean you you should stop trying.  It is amazing what God can do when we give freely of ourselves.

January 6, 1978

It was cold and the snow was coming down sideways.  My sister Cindy and I had a quick dinner at the Fawnbrook Inn and headed up to the Allenspark Post Office parking lot, across from the church to wait for the rest of our group to arrive.  As we waited, watching the snow pile up, I wondered aloud if anyone was going to make it up the mountain that night.  It didn't look promising.  Then headlights broke through the dark and Dave drove up in his big blue truck. The next car to break through the drifts was Dave's brother Paul.  If no one else showed up we would be okay, the bride, the groom, the minister and a witness had made it.  


Thirty three years, four daughters, one son in law and a grandson on the way later, that couple is still hanging in there, traveling through the ups and downs of life together.

Happy Anniversary Dave, I love you!

Christmas Thoughts

I have been doing some sifting lately, but not in the kitchen, in my head. It seems like my perspective on things is changing and I am sifting through what in my life has real value and what has no worth..  I used to be a person who put a lot of pressure on herself to have things just so.  You know, the perfect variety of cookies to deliver, the spotless house (at least I tried), the right amount of gifts for each person, etc. and I just never felt like I measured up.  This year, for some reason, I was feeling unusually overwhelmed and I sort of gave up (as much as a person who likes to be in control can do that).  I let a five year old decorate our tree and tape homemade Christmas pictures on our walls, I did not send cards out and my oven has hardly been on.  The crazy thing is no one has missed any of it, including me.  Part of this is me getting older and another part is just saying stop the madness. 

One of things that helps me remember what this season is all about is my nativity scene display.  I have the first inexpensive one I bought when we were newly married, the one made by the kids at Sunday School, several from Central America, the plastic Playmobile one that children like to rearrange and the new one from Liberia that is made from bullets.  None of them cost over ten dollars, but I value them because they remind me of that event many years ago when God sent us Hope wrapped in a blanket, laying in a manger.

My wish for you this season is a simple one, look up and follow the star.  May the eternal Hope of Christmas  be your guide.

Life is Fragile

Last week I went to Denver to celebrate my nephew's 10th birthday.  He is my youngest sister's middle child, the only grandson.  We had brunch, cake and opened presents, the usual milestone activities.  In attendance were a large group of my sister's in laws and most of my family, including my next youngest sister, Cindy.  I don't see her very often because we are both busy and live about an hour and a half away from each other, so it was nice catching up with her.

Not a week later, my Mom calls to tell me that she had to take Cindy to the hospital, because she has been vomiting and has become so weak she can barely stand up.  Apparently her blood pressure was so low, they had to work on her for quite a while just to get her stable, before they moved her up to the ICU.  The diagnosis was sepsis (where your blood is overwhelmed by bacteria).  On Monday they moved her to a regular room and changed the diagnosis to E. coli.  She seems to be responding to the antibiotics and hopes to come home in the next day or so.  They are not sure if her organs have been damaged or not and are still running tests.

I am just amazed how quickly a person can go down.  She seemed perfectly healthy the week before and now her life has taken a totally different direction.  We are thankful she had enough energy to call for assistance, thankful that she is getting good medical care and thankful she will be here to celebrate another day.  Please keep her in your prayers as her ordeal is not over yet, but I think she is on the road to recovery.

Great Grandma is going to Honduras

My Mom has decided to go with me to Honduras to see Anna and Guillermo's baby (due around January 11). She is working on her passport, it has been awhile, a long while, actually I think it was when Tami was in England for a semester at Cambridge (she now has a husband and three kids and can barely remember those college days).

I have Anna working on tickets for the later part of January. She says it will be the cold time of year, although I can hardly imagine chilly Honduras. The best part of my Mom coming is that she can help me take all the baby stuff down (well, one of the best parts). Our biggest suitcase is totally full and then some with baby stuff they got while they were visiting in October. I was planning on trying to bring my clothes in my carry on, but even that was filling up. Now I will be able to take more than one outfit!

Anna called the other night on Skype and showed me the baby's room. It will be nice, especially with a baby in it. Her big naked belly came into view as were talking  and after I gasped, she said, "It's just Guillermo David". It won't be long and we will be able to see him in all his glory.

Great Grandma Practicing

Photos

If you are interested in seeing pictures, you can check out my Flickr site. I am starting to upload a few at a time.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mountaintopsue/

HOME

The laundry is going, I have showered and eaten, it's like we were never gone. Unless of course, you look at the huge pile of newspapers and mail on the kitchen counter. I don't want tomorrow to come. At least not too soon. I'm not ready to go back to my reality. Liberia has certainly left a hole in my heart. We met some wonderful people and I feel guilty leaving them and coming back to abundance and comfort. This life will never be perfect and whole, but I have seen hope on the faces of those that shouldn't have any and that is enough for me. He is there among them and I was a witness.

Saturday

It was a day of goodbyes and picture taking (not that we haven’t been doing that all week!). Tony and Shelly brought a small photo printer with them and once people around us found that out, they all want a picture of themselves or one with us in it. So consequentially, we have had a lot of knocks on the door this morning. We have also presented some small gifts and cards to quite a few people who we have spent time with.
In the afternoon we were off to see Dr. Sanvee’s house which is in the process of being built. It was about twenty five minutes away from Monrovia. Unfortunately we had to take a smaller vehicle, so we went African style, two in the front (stick shift in the middle) and four in the back of a small pickup. We see everything from small taxis to large vans carrying over capacity amounts of people in them. Houses here are made from cement blocks that are usually made on the site. The blocks on her house were up to window height and even higher in other places. We got a tour of the three bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, dining and living room. It is located out in the country and she has hired a man who lives in a small shack on the property to be security so no one comes and squats on it or buries a body on it (no one will live on it if they do that).
We had a lovely evening at an upscale restaurant for our last evening. I will post a picture later of all of us in our new Liberian attire. If only it didn’t get dark so early, we would have had a beautiful view of the ocean, but alas… I can tell Dr. Sanvee is going to miss us all, especially Gretchen, but she will be visiting the US in May to see her daughter and new granddaughter, so it won’t be long.
I am going to end this so we can get on the plane. Later…

Friday

Dr. Sanvee and her sister Margaret (who has been cooking our meals) came for dinner. It was a nice evening of, good food, listening to their incredibly interesting stories and fellowship. We chatted around the table for quite some time and then eventually moved to the soft chairs on the other side of the room. After a short time, Dr. Sanvee got up and went to her car and came back with some bags. She made a little speech about how happy she was with our visit and then we proceeded to have Christmas! Out of the bags came outfits that she had made us by her tailor Solo. There were embroidered shirts for the men and beautiful shirts and matching pants for the women. We also received some carvings made out of ebony. Needless to say we were all very touched and from what Gretchen told us, this was pretty unusual.
Apparently on the night that Solo the tailor came to take an order from Shelly and I, she told him secretly to size us up. All but one, fit perfectly and they sent it back and it was fixed quickly. Tonight we will all wear them out to dinner. Tomorrow I will wear the skirt I had Solo make, to church. We picked out the material one time when we were downtown, with Dr. Sanvee, I think it cost about two or three dollars. They measure the material in lappas. My full length skirt took two lappas.

Running Out of Steam

As our 2nd week winds down, I seem to be running out of steam. Some of us have less to do and find we are hanging around the house more. Others are trying to finish up computer work on documents while things are fresh in their minds. We probably only needed to be here for 10 days or so, but the new direct flights from Atlanta only go on the weekends and 1 week would have been too short of time. Until recently, you had to fly through Brussels and spend a night there on the way back. That flight was much more expensive and you had to pay for two nights in a hotel, so we are here a little longer than we need to be.
We are lucky that the hospital grounds are relatively large, but they are starting to feel confining to me. We can walk out of the hospital down a narrow street of vendors to the main thoroughfare, but once on Tubman Boulevard we do not feel safe to venture any further (although it is very tempting). I suppose this is especially true for women.
The food has been okay and other than the dried fish in a stew occasionally, we have been able to eat it. We have even had desserts such as pawpaw (papaya) turnovers, cookies and coconuts tarts. I realized today that other than a tiny amount of cheese, I have not consumed any other milk products. Dave has been having milk on cereal in the mornings (that we brought from home) and I have been having oatmeal. As far as fruit and vegetables go, I make fruit salad with oranges and bananas every night and we have had cucumbers and some squash mixed in our daily meat and gravy dish.
Shopping
Yesterday we went shopping with Dr. Sanvee down by the UN Headquarters. It was basically to buy souvenirs to take home with us. It was very interesting to watch Dr. Sanvee negotiate for us. She didn’t let anyone take advantage. It was actually very exhausting because everyone wanted us to look at their merchandise and everyone wanted to give us a good deal. It seemed more like hard work than a fun shopping trip. In addition, the tiny shops were very dark (no electricity – unless they turned their generators on and then the fumes were sickening) and with three or four of us in them it was sweltering and I was sweating profusely.
Today the guys had Bob Harris (driver) take them shopping for safety equipment for the maintenance employees. Their arms were full and overflowing when they returned. The only kink in the trip was that they ended up paying twice for the hard hats, when a man who offered to help carry them to the car, ran off down an alley with the box. They had to go back in and buy another set. So much for naïve Americans.